Witchy Rant

I swear the people at my church piss me off.It's like as a Christian they would have a bit of faith in me but instead laugh at me like I'm a day-dreaming 6 year-old and they're a bunch of honest drunks who look at me and think "you're wasting your life away kid".And then I ask myself the same question I was asked at a renaissance faire by a friend of mine who had a vendor there "Why do you waste your time?" Good question to ask when I feel like I'm being criticized and patronized by assholes who will only go down the same path expecting different results but all in all get nowhere.They don't care to bother to question themselves about "okay.what am I doing wrong that nothing changes and I'm still unhappy?" It's a question I had to learn, my pagan mother had to learn, and my shaman friend Elf had to learn.Several months ago, I was in a shithole spiral with my fiance Ryan and I wonder why nothing had changed for me no matter how much I tried to continue in the relationship expecting that maybe things would get better.My pagan dad Alan did my cards and I was told that soon I was going to have to make a choice between love or happiness.After that I realized what it was and that Ryan was bringing me down and he was nothing but a bad omen for me.He was being a psychic vampire and draining the life out of me.So when the opportunity arose and he made his mistake to insult my mother I left feeling freedom and unbound to the chains of that relationship.And now that I have someone new that treats me way fucking better then the rest of them because hes not cocky but confident in making me happy and not being insecure or any of that unneeded bullshit and for them to shoot me down for trying to be happy for once in my life can go fuck themselves.The only solution I was told to succeed was to ignore and runaway from the people that only want to see you fall. This is the reason I don't attend church anymore.I would rather practice my Christian faith within the home where Christianity started. Something I learned about either my pagan faith or christian faith is I don't need someone else telling me I'm doing it wrong.This is my life.I am the creator of my universe and therefore I shall believe how I would like to.I hate it when I go to fireside chats and the host asks me my opinion on how do you think magic works.I give my opinion and they tell me I'm wrong.Then why the hell did you ask me that question just to tell me I'm wrong.First rule of magic:nobody is wrong.Second rule:Don't believe everything read because anything printed can be consumed by flames and then your left with the only thing you needed the entire time of your practice.Faith and belief and having no doubts and putting trust in the gods and goddesses.With that you learn what love is because when you truly love someone you have faith, belief, and no doubts and put trust in someone you know what love is and something I also learned is that when you learn that you become a god/goddess.Something you always capable of becoming the entire time.I have a pagan belief of my own that true passionate love is only achieved when you look at each other as a god and goddess worshiping each other for all that they do for and they do it in return.And from where I sit I am Goddess dammit!!


I apologize for my language but I needed to get that off my chest.*breathes relief*